In late May of 1989, the school arranged for a junior high trip to Great America. This included the 7th and 8th graders, but the 6th graders may have tagged along as well. Great America was and still is a huge amusement park located in Gurnee, Illinois, about 50 minutes outside Chicago. All the kids who were going met at the school in the morning along with the adult chaperons. I can remember us meeting and waiting in the hallway at the school. The only adult that I clearly remember was Jessica’s mom, but there were of course others. I also remember Jessica’s mom because she barked at us to get off of a car we were sitting on in the Great America parking lot at lunch time. Aside from that moment the presence of the adults was an afterthought. We were so excited to go as a group and this was going to be an epic adventure.
We arrived at the amusement park when it opened at 10:00 am. These days a chaperone would normally be assigned to each group of kids to make sure that everyone was accounted for. Well, that definitely did not happen with the group that I was in. I’m guessing that this was due to the fact that we were 14 and they were reasonably confident that we would be fine by ourselves. Who knows? All I know is much of the nonsense and foolishness that happened that day would not have occurred if we had been accompanied by an adult. Thank goodness we didn’t have a chaperone with us! The group that I was a part of included Danny, John, and Jonathon. I think that Reggie was there as well but I’m not sure.
Our mission was clear when we broke off into our group in front of the giant carrousel once you enter the park: Get John on a rollercoaster. John had expressed extreme trepidation at the thought of getting on a rollercoaster. John did not want to go on a roller coaster. Well naturally we knew we had to do everything in our collective power to get him on the biggest, fastest coasters the park had to offer. The two roller coasters that were the feature attractions at the time were the American Eagle, one of the largest wooden roller coasters in the world and the Shockwave, a newer roller coaster that had made its debut in 1988. We had a plan.
As we plotted our strategy, Danny and I knew that there was no way we’d be able to get John to agree to ride the Eagle straight out of the gate. We were going to break him in nice and easy with a ride that would get him warmed up for the heavyweight rides. The group decided to get in line for the Tidal Wave. The Tidal Wave was an underrated roller coaster. The rider would get on and the harness would come down over the rider’s shoulders and lock into place. The roller coaster would then shoot out quickly and speed into a giant single loop. Once the coaster came out of the loop it would scale high on the track and hang momentarily before plunging backwards into the same loop it had just exited before hurtling straight backwards on the tracks that ascended about 100 feet in the air before descending back into the station. It was a really quick ride that took maybe a total of 20-25 seconds, so it was over quick, which was kind of a bummer, but on the plus side the lines would move quickly.
too soon for John.
We entered the line and John almost immediately began second guessing his decision and started to express his reluctance. John normally had a big, loud voice that came from his chest or even deeper. But now he was speaking in a worried, high-pitched whimpering moan. Me and Danny began to realize to our devious delight just how petrified he was of the ride. Almost the entire time was spent trying to convince John that everything was going to be ok. Danny and I would take turns assuring John that there was no need to stress out. I played down how fast the ride was and insisted that the Shockwave was no big deal. Danny, being the far more trustworthy character, tried hard to get John to calm down. But the grin sneaking onto his face betrayed what he was trying to convey to John. Jonathon would also chime in with a more no-nonsense approach telling John that it would be fine and to shut up. John was suspicious of our assurances and he continued his whiney whimpering as the line moved forward. “I don’t know….oh no…..I don’t think I can do this…..oh no….no no no……I don’t think this is a good idea you guys…Oh no..” Add to this his high-pitched moaning and whimpering and then think about the fact that we were in line for a solid 35 minutes. Me, Danny, and Jonathon while embarrassed at the spectacle John was making of himself thought that this was just hysterical.
As we inched closer to the entrance where riders would get into the corrals depending on where they wanted to sit, John began to act even more dramatic and it all started to go downhill. I used every trick in the book to walk him off the ledge. “John, it’s ok. It’s gonna be fine. It’s no big deal. Look at all the people who are going on the ride. Nothing bad is gonna happen. C’mon John, we’re finally here. Just get on the ride.” Danny chimed in as well, “C’mon John! Let’s go!” Jonathon was getting fed up with his brother, “C’mon! What’s the matter with you?! Just get on!” John was getting triple teamed with peer pressure and he couldn’t handle it. At the entrance to get on the Tidalwave there were tall wooden pillars that were located about six feet from where individuals would step into the ride. John grabbed onto the wooden pillar closest to him and hung on for dear life. He hugged it like a long-lost friend who had just saved him from imminent disaster. “Noo!!! I’m not going!! No! No! No! No!!!” We couldn’t believe what was happening and I quickly moved over to try and salvage the situation with strongarm tactics. “John, you’ve got to get on the ride. You can’t do this! GET ON THE RIDE. Everyone is waiting. Cut it out! Let’s go!” It didn’t work. John was not letting go of the pillar. His eyes were closed and his mind was made up. There were only a few seconds to decide what to do. I hadn’t waited in line for 35 minutes to have John’s meltdown sabotage our first roller coaster. Self-interest won out. Me and Danny cut them loose and got on the ride. Jonathon was stuck with his brother who remained in his amorous embrace with the wooden pole. I’m not sure how they got John off the pole but I think that Great America employees had to help convince him to let go. Then John and Jonathon had to walk back though the line. A walk of shame of an altogether different nature.
Well, if at first you don’t succeed. Try, try, again. Right? We decided to take a different approach. John could not be fast tracked onto a roller coaster out of the gate. We needed to ease him in by taking John on a less daunting ride: The Fiddler’s Fling (I had to look that on up on the Great America website) was, and still is, a ride where two people are seated in each car. The ride then swings and flings you back and forth at a reasonably fast pace. The momentum generated by the back and forth causes you to lean into the person you’re sharing the car with. I thought that this ride would be doable for John chiefly because it wasn’t high off the ground. We were making a concession to John and we communicated to him the fact that we were making this decision for his benefit. It was to be conveyed and understood that this was very benevolent of us and we had nothing but his best interests in mind ;). John was still very wary, but with the proper mix of encouragement and cajoling we were able to get him on the Fiddler’s Fling.
John yelled and howled and held on for dear life as the ride accelerated and began rapidly swinging back and forth. He was wide eyed with fright and his body was completely stiff from bracing himself with his arms straight forward and his hands gripped to the handlebars with vice like pressure. I watched him pretty much the entire time and there were tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. But there was part of me that was also trying to determine if he was going to have a complete breakdown. After the ride was over, we came together as a group. Me and Danny immediately employed the tactic of enthusiastically confirming that he had loved the experience, “John, that was awesome! Wasn’t it?!”. John wasn’t as enthusiastic and put his hand up to his forehead as he sought to recover from the trauma he had just been put through. “You guys are crazy…..I don’t know….”
Doubt could not be allowed to creep in. “You did great John! I think you’re ready for the Eagle.” John did not agree with this assessment at all and bellowed out his response, “No!!”.
This called for a change in tactics. It was time to play dirty, time to question his manhood. “John, are you a baby?!?! Are you a baby?! Quit acting like a baby! Maybe we should just send you over to the Tea Cups with the other babies!” Danny and Jonathon followed my lead. “Yeah John, don’t be a baby!” added Danny. Jonathon stepped in to add some brotherly love, “C’mon John. What’s the matter with you?!”.
The baby talk seemed to strike a chord with John and he began to reconsider his position. We then shifted our tactics to convey that we were really looking out for his best interests, “John, we came here to have fun right? You’re going to love the Eagle. Trust me. That’s why we’re here right?! C’mon! You’re not a baby! Let’s go!”. It worked. We ran towards the entrance to the line for the American Eagle for an epic roller coaster experience.
The wait for the Eagle was about 45 minutes. It didn’t take long for John to fall back into his whimpering whiney ways that had led to the meltdown before he had even got on the Tidal Wave. We could not have that happen again. No way. We countered his reluctance and fear with a variety of tactics. It followed a pattern of playing down how scary the roller coaster was, “It’s nothing John. There’s nothing to worry about. You’re gonna love it.”. Trying to be as casual and relaxed about it seemed to work best. Distracting him by moving the conversation in another direction was also employed with limited success. Most of the time John continued to work himself up into a state of over the top fear with his constant stream of gibbering worriedness which alternated in pitch and volume to dramatic effect. But we were able to manage him effectively enough to progress through the line without too much drama.
Danny, Jonathon, and I could barely conceal our giddy delight with the anticipation of finally bringing our dastardly plan to fruition and getting John on the Eagle. As we entered the corrals where you stepped into the seat of the roller coaster me and Danny sat in the car just ahead of John and Jonathon. They were right behind us and within earshot. Once the bar that functions as a seat belt was brought down and locked in, the realization seemed to hit John that there was no escape. “Oh no! I don’t know…..You guys! Let me out! No!”. At this point we made no attempt to hide our glee and could only laugh as he carried on.
The roller coaster slowly moved out of the station and made a quick left turn that would pull us onto the steep incline towards the summit of the ride before we plunged downhill at over 70 miles an hour. The slow, rhythmic click-clack sound that the roller coaster made as the cars are being pulled up the tracks created a great sense of anticipation and dread. For John, I’m sure it felt like he was being pulled up to his execution. Imagine some unfortunate soul being pulled along in a cart before being led up to the guillotine. As soon as we started our ascent his whimpering moans and fearful gibbering gave way to hysterical high pitched squeals and comical threats, “Mr. Cook!! Mr. Nunez!!! I’m gonna get you guys!!”. Me and Danny were laughing so hard we couldn’t even speak. John’s threats soon gave way to cries for maternal intervention, “I want my mommy!!”. At this point my stomach was cramping from laughing so hard but I found the wherewithal to add some final words of comfort to John as we approached the very top, “We’re almost there, John! It’s almost time!! There’s no escape! Mommy can’t help you now! Here we go!!!”. The Eagle plunged downwards at over 70 mph and John’s bellowing howls were joined by our own yelling and celebratory whoops. The rest of the ride was a blur until we pulled into the station.
The Eagle slowed down and eased into the station. John wanted out as soon as possible. In order to exit the ride, you had to wait for a buzzer to sound and then you would press down on the bar across your lap and the bar would release, allowing you to exit the ride. Well John was too frazzled to pay attention to that nuance. As soon as the buzzer sounded, he simply pulled up on the bar to get out. The bar would not release, you had to press down first. Danny and I had already gotten off and watched as John dissolved into total delirium as he could not get out, “No! Help!! Let me out!!” An irritated Jonathon tried to tell him what he needed to do but John wasn’t listening, “Let me out!! Not again!” he yelled, then in a higher pitched squeal, “NOT AGAIN!!!”. A Great America employee had to come over to help John get out. Danny and I were doubled over laughing and staggered off in a mix of intoxicated giddiness and embarrassment at the whole spectacle. Jonathon was not as amused and let John know, “What’s the matter with you?!” John was just happy to be off the ride and in one piece.
How we managed to get John on the Shockwave after having traumatized him on the Eagle remains a mystery for the ages. I’ll put it down to our collective power of persuasion and pressure. I do remember selling the Shockwave by telling John that he had already conquered the biggest, fastest ride at Great America. This was partially true. The Shockwave had been introduced in 1988 and was one of the featured attractions at Great America at the time. It had a considerable drop, not quite like the Eagle but it may have been steeper. One significant difference was that the Shockwave had multiple loops. Similar shenanigans ensued as we spent the 60 minutes in line convincing John that the worst was over, and the Shockwave would be a breeze. Once again, John sat behind me and Danny. As soon as the harness came over our shoulders to lock us into the position, John started with his whimpering, high pitched moaning.
coasters by this point.
He again tried launching promises of retribution at me and Danny, “Mr. Cook! Mr. Nunez!! I’m gonna get you guys!!!” Oh No!!”. I don’t know what triggered John to be so formal and address us as Mr. Cook and Mr. Nunez. Perhaps it was John’s way of communicating the gravity of the situation. Danny and I were in stitches and there was banter back and forth as the roller coaster climbed upwards towards the top for its initial drop. John howled and yowled while roller coaster raced through the loops. Something to note about the Shockwave, man it was a rough and rocky ride. The roller coaster would jerk you around as the curves were tighter and the design was aggressive. There was no additional drama when the ride came to its conclusion. John had once again survived. We were thrilled to have accomplished our mission to get John on the biggest, scariest roller coasters at Great America. Was he truly traumatized? Well, only John can answer that question. I had the impression at the time that while terrified at the prospect of getting on those rides, he actually handled both roller coasters fairly well. Was part of what we did mean spirited and cruel? It certainly could be interpreted that way. I would strongly argue that it wasn’t. While we were no doubt ridiculously excited to see John’s reaction to being on those rides, it wasn’t with the aim of torturing John. I think the most honest answer is that there were no doubt selfish motives to amuse ourselves with his over the top, cartoon like reactions, we also wanted John to have a good time and have an authentic roller coaster experience. The easy thing would have been to leave John behind and go off on our own. But John was a part of the group and I’m glad we took him on the Eagle and the Shockwave. They were the two most memorable roller coaster rides of my life.
Gospel Outreach School and High School Memories 1988-1992 